Can we bend the rules just for one night? Will you remember me if we don’t? Could I live in your memory and die in my life. I don’t feel so empty now that I have become someone else and I don’t hate you so much now that you own a part of me.
Sometimes I think it’s easier to survive than live in this world. A choice can ruin your life a choice can make or break your future. Why chose when you can let it happen and take no responsibility when it does. But that feels no good, you slowly feel yourself drifting away from all of the possibilities of who you could be and what you could contribute to this life. Of all the choices you could have made maybe some of them could have changed your life for the better. The pain comes on strong, the sadness, worthlessness, the confusion about life sets in.
One needs to know they have a purpose and maybe the answer to happiness is found in the pursuit of that purpose not the purpose itself. I am discovering that I have always looked to the other when making my choices. This is easy but also tiring and confusing because no one else can possibly know what is best for me, what makes me happy, what makes me sad. And if I always look to the other then I will never truly develop my own identity.
I have come to the realisation that there are no answers where I have been searching and the only answers to be found are within me. This is both a liberating and terrifying experience..........
I am a 29 year old singer songwriter who has been attempting for years to live up to unattainable ideals that I impose upon myself like a lot of other artists. This has restricted my growth as an artist and my growth as a human being and I am working hard to let go of those things that do not serve me well and hang on to those that do, after all if "the purpose of life is death" (Sigmund Freud) then we might as well enjoy everything else in between.
Question: Why is it so hard for us as humans to admit our lacks?
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